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Tag Archives: political satire

Mitt Romney: The Most Indecisive Man in the World

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Mr. S. Knabt in Election 2012, GOP, Mitt Romney

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election 2010, Mitt Romney, political satire

Mitt Romney is so indecisive when he goes to a restaurant he orders everything on the menu. Why? Because he’s never sure what he wants. Or is that too ridiculous?

‘I respect and will protect a woman’s right to choose.’
‘I never really called myself pro-choice.’

Show me a career politician who has never changed a position and I’ll show you a unicorn. Then there’s Mitt Romney’s two-faced nature that seems to be an order of magnitude worse than any other.

‘I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.’
‘I did not see it with my own eyes.’

Maybe I can sort out some perverse sense from his seemingly contradictory statements. Like the quotes that follow where he both supports an inflation adjusted minimum wage but then goes on to say it’ll cost jobs. One could argue he thinks the job losses, even if excessive, are justified by boosting the economic conditions of those trying to subsist on minimum wage jobs.

‘I think the minimum wage ought to keep pace with inflation.’
‘There’s no question raising the minimum wage excessively causes a loss of jobs.’

Too crazy? Yep. That interpretation doesn’t pass the smell test. So what’s Mitt’s official position on the minimum wage? I don’t know. I scanned Romney’s 87 page allegedly comprehensive economic plan. It isn’t mentioned. Not even once. Best not put it in writing on anything but his Etch A Sketch.

I can see why many conservatives fought hard to defeat ‘liberal’ Mitt during the Republican primary. The YouTube compilation of Romney’s reversal of positions which follows is hilarious but, most interesting, is posted by a far-right personality.

‘I will work and fight for stem cell research.’
‘In the end, I became persuaded that the stem-cell debate was grounded in a false premise.’

‘It was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam.’
‘I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there.’

So I got a laugh out of that video but there’s a serious side to it. Conservatives are understandably conflicted. They’re motivated by desperation to vote for Romney because of their anybody-but-Obama syndrome. But are they really getting someone different from President Obama? All indications are Mitt Romney bends dramatically with the political winds. As long as those winds favor their conservative platform, all is good.

Yet Mitt will change direction in a heartbeat to be as liberal, perhaps even more liberal if circumstances dictate, than President Obama to save his own political skin. Mitt’s bizarre, changing spin on the Affordable Care Act’s mandate proves that. He even went as far as to shove his campaign staff under the bus on that one.

‘I like mandates. The mandates work.’
‘I think it’s unconstitutional on the 10th Amendment front.’

So we can laugh at Mitt’s shifting sands of positions. Maybe the next pair of quotes show even Romney can laugh at Romney. Again, clearly conservatives aren’t laughing. I don’t think anyone on the political spectrum is.

‘This is a completely airtight kennel mounted on the top of our car.’
‘They’re not happy that my dog loves fresh air.’

Conservatives particularly won’t be amused Romney makes them dizzy running in circles around their idol, Ronald Reagan.

‘I’m not trying to return to Reagan-Bush.’
‘Ronald Reagan is… my hero.’

More disturbing he’s seriously flip-flopped on all of their key issues: gay rights, abortion, immigration reform, the Bush tax cuts, a no new taxes pledge, campaign finance reform, gun control, universal health care, climate change, stem cell research, the stimulus, TARP, even his Republican affiliation if you can believe that. Want more details? Go here.

No wonder Conan O’Brien mocked Romney saying his most serious political rival in this election is the Mitt from 4 years ago.

And that, boys and girls, is what makes Mitt Romney the most indecisive man in the world!

Rush Limbaugh on Race

23 Tuesday Aug 2011

Posted by Mr. S. Knabt in Rush Limbaugh, Satire, Talk radio

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conservative populism, political satire, race baiting, Rush Limbaugh, talk radio

People don’t believe me when I tell them that I once was true-red conservative. I voted party line Republican. One day back in the Dark Ages that were the 1990s a conservative friend suggested I listen to Rush Limbaugh. Since I worked during the day I couldn’t listen to his radio show so I caught a couple of his short-lived syndicated TV episodes showing in the wee hours of the morning. Quite frankly, I was appalled by his populist demagoguery.

Sculpting the Martin Luther King, Jr memorial

Martin Luther King, Jr

But what really was the last straw on the camel’s back was Rush race-baiting during a particular episode. I can’t recall much of the details but, I believe, his schtick centered around using monkeys at a drive-through zoo attacking tourists’ cars as a metaphor for rioting blacks. During a subsequent show he proudly waved a small newspaper clipping of the NAACP demanding an apology. Of course, the NAACP’s reaction was exactly what Rush was looking for. Gleefully he re-ran the clip. I think he did his usual routine of carefully parsing what he said with a wink and a nod to prove nothing he said was remotely racist.

True story and what started me down the road to liberalism. More accurately, I was washed down the road by a tidal wave of right-wing populism which endures to this very day.

Rush Limbaugh propelled to the top of the dung heap of conservative talk radio by taking on politically taboo subjects. I know several conservatives who listened intently to him in his early days because they were privately upset at minorities over affirmative action which they viewed as a serious career threat. Rush was their champion. He took the topic head on with a take-no-prisoners head of steam.

These memories and more flooded through my brain as I stumbled upon a cache of Media Matters clips of Rush Limbaugh’s trademark race-baiting on his radio show. The folks I used to know who listened to his crap long ago tossed in their dittohead towels. I have no idea who listens to his vile vomit today but I suspect they’ll be all around me at my polling station when I vote in 2012.

The only thing you’ll learn from Rush Limbaugh is contempt which is why, in my own inadequate way, I feel compelled to mock Mr. Limbaugh with a little bit of my own satire. Jon Stewart remains secure in a job but I had to do it.

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